Monday, February 27, 2012

dear vanessa p.2.

dear vanessa,

today is your birthday. almost six months ago today the world stopped for a lot of people. it's weird....we are all together again. but really, we won't ever be all together. not in this life anyway. sometimes i don't think i fully understand the reality or even the magnitude of eternity. or how my life has changed since you left it. but, you haven't left, not really. 
yesterday in sunday school i got to thinking about you. we were talking about the blessings that God has given us. and specifically the ways He has helped each of us personally. i started to think of all the times He has comforted me and strengthened me when i didn't believe there was any way i could ever feel peace again. sometimes i think you are by my side comforting me too, helping me to find the strength to continue even in difficult times. i found myself crying in the middle of the lesson and then throughout the rest of the day those tears kept finding their way onto my face as i thought about you.

today is your birthday. i know that brings a lot of sadness to many people. especially your family. i've seen the pain they are going through trying to come to figure out how to live without you in this life. as difficult as it is to feel joy on this day i remembered the last birthday i spent with you before your mission. i think it was two years ago, or was it three...i don't remember. but knowing your love for chips, we had a chip party with all of us girls. there were bags and bags and bags of chips in every variety and of course we ate them all! only a bentley! it's those precious memories i hope to remember today, not the fact that you aren't here to celebrate with us now. 

even though things are different know i wanted to wish you a happy birthday. just because you're earthly life has come to an end doesn't mean that the beauty of your life can't be celebrated. vanessa, i want you to know that you are a blessing in my life, sent from God. a little piece of heaven in my life. i think a lot of other people feel the same way. just know, that i love you. 


ruth said...

I love your beautiful expression celebrating Vanessa's life and how much we all miss her.

erikA35 said...

Thank you for this. I love you and all of the cousins so much!